KARIBU!

Welcome, they said. The warm smiling faces that greeted me upon arriving in Kenya were so genuine. Welcoming me to their country. I have many friends who have visited different parts of Africa, many of them Black, and hearing stories about their feelings upon arrival gave me a certain expectation about how I would feel touching down in the motherland. And with this expectation came also so nervousness. I had no idea what the feeling was-maybe it was because it’s the farthest I’ve been from America. Maybe it’s because it was such an unfamiliar land. Maybe it was just gas…but I was ready to come HOME. Or at least feel like I was connected to the land by a force stronger than that which connected me to America. So I walked off the plane and set foot onto the African soil, but just like Diana Morales, I felt nothing. But it was just the tarmac, I told myself. So I walked into the airport, stood in the visa line and when my passport was finally stamped…nothing. But it was hot and there was a long wait. So I gathered my things in anticipation of the great powerful feeling that awaited me outside in the warm African sun. I emerged from the airport, and was greeted immediately by a row of drivers waiting to pick up their passengers. Now was the time, I thought. I searched for the man holding the sign with my name. Welcoming me, Cessalee, home to Africa. But he was late, and I went back inside to wait and I have to tell you. I just didn’t feel like home.

Now please don’t get me wrong. I have absolutely fallen in love with Africa. I started my trip with two days in Nairobi where I kissed a giraffe, got nuzzled by an elephant, held a crocodile, named an ostrich, and got to visit a museum filled with living history and stories of true courage. Then I continued in Zanzibar where I went scuba diving in the Indian Ocean and had fresh fish cooked for me in a park. I sat on a beach and took my first Maaselfie, had tea with a cheetah and got raspberried by a lemur. A zebra gave me a rose and I gave a command to the king of the jungle and he followed. Then came the safari in the Maasai Mara followed by Lake Nakuru where I danced with an African tribe, watched multiple animals mating in the wild, and learned that even the cheetahs aren’t safe when there’s a lion around. I watched a kill, I saw day old babies being taught how to live, I saw elephant skulls that had been there for years. I truly saw and experienced so many wonderful things in Africa, I’ll have to do a separate post just about my itinerary!

But the only thing I didn’t do was feel like I was home.

It’s ironic because I don’t really have a “home.” I last lived in NYC in 2012, right before I left to start tour with The Book of Mormon and since then, I’ve been on the road for work or on the road to travel. I do have a storage unit or two in my hometown and my parents have the key, but a home…well I don’t currently possess one of those. And part of this #Cescapade is elongating the time before I need to drop back down from my wanderlusting cloud and find a job, in a city and make some moves to have a home.

When I talk to people about my trip, everyone thinks it’s pretty cool to be traveling so much and so far and mostly alone. And everyone has a comment or opinion about some place I’m going. It’s dangerous, it’s beautiful, don’t forget to haggle, it’s the best, you’ll love this bar or this hotel, make sure to do this excursion. And I am definitely the kind of person who soaks that up! I always keep a notepad to jot down the suggestions I get and truthfully, I’m the same way when people tell me about their trips. But this time, I think I allowed myself to get too wrapped up in how I expected to feel. I truly thought that whatever my friends experienced in coming to Africa would be my feelings too. Even more than the places on my list, I was most excited about the feeling I would get. This grand feeling of belonging. And that didn’t happen.There are people all over this world and someone has been everywhere. You can take tips and suggestions about where to go, but it’s up to you to decide how you feel. And it’s ok if it doesn’t feel like home, or however you expected it to feel.

So I’ll tell you what I did feel. I felt comfortable, I felt safe. I felt beautiful-in a country where everyone looked like me, the things that make me special stood out. My hair is a HOT MESS most days, but I got more compliments on it here than I ever have in my life. It made me feel like there was value in my skin, in my body, in my being. I loved that. I felt so welcomed by the most kind and warm people I’ve ever met. I can’t tell you how many stories there are of people being kind just because they are kind. And patient. And the scenery…my goodness. The trees, the mountains, the bright colors worn by the people, the buildings, it was just amazing. I’m pretty sure I cried about 10 times just because something was overwhelmingly beautiful. And those are feelings that I couldn’t have expected to have and to me they are more real and valuable than the “missing” feeling of being home.

And just to clarify, when I say it didn’t feel like home, I don’t just mean that they don’t feel like America, although they certainly don’t. But they also don’t feel like my home. The good news is, I have felt “home” before, so I am confident that when it feels right, I’ll decide to stay. But for now, as I say goodbye to Africa, I’m filled with excitement. I can’t wait to visit this beautiful land again and hopefully bring my family back with me. I feel like I have so much more to see and do. But when the next trip is over, I’ll be happy to head back home…wherever that may be.

#journeyon

Oh Iceland!

This trip has been absolutely phenomenal from inception, through execution and I’m pretty sure it will live on as one of my favorite vacations of all time! Back in January, I had decided to leave The Book of Mormon and after finding and booking a great deal for the European Adventure, I came across Wow Airlines‘ amazing deal to Reykjavik. For only $300 (plus a trip to Boston, one of my least favorite cities based entirely on the football team) I could come to Iceland. A few folks in my travel group had been talking about it and the pictures you see online are stunning. So what the heck, it meant I would get a nice long break of 6 weeks before going back into the workforce, I thought! So I posted on facebook:

And within minutes, Drew replied that he was in. And while we had become facebook friends and frequent “likers” on each other’s pages, we had only met briefly once in LA through a mutual friend. Next came Amber, my cousin. We’ve talked many times about traveling but have never been further than Chicago together so this was going to be a new journey for us. And then Lindsey, one of my dearest friends from a show I did five years ago. Within 2 hours of posting, flights were booked and we were set.  With a few weeks to go, a good friend from college, Holly, sent a message while I was in Europe. Where will you be Oct. 13-17 she asked? A few hours later, she had a ticket and completed our crew headed to the Land of Fire and Ice!

Although at different times, we all arrived to Iceland and took up our places in our amazing airbnb and basically set off to explore! Truthfully a few hours passed before it really hit me. Four friends of mine who had never met before were going to be living and exploring this foreign land together. Someone asked how we all knew each other and with four eyes fixed on me, it meant a lot of responsibility to make sure everyone had the vacation of a lifetime. For me, it was one stop of many on my #cescapade. For them it was their a fully thought out vacation that likely would be the only one for several months. Take about pressure! So in typical Cessalee form, I stated worrying about the schedule and who needed to be where and when. And taking time to tick off all the boxes that my travel books and online research had turned up. And for three days or so we went around doing all of the stuff we “needed” to do. And I don’t mean to downplay that, they are high on the lists because they are awesome! The Blue Lagoon, Hallgrimskirkja, Þingvellir, Scuba diving the Silfra Fissure and more filled our days with so much more excitement and beauty than we could have expected.

But then we started to really explore. And the need for “planning” went out the window. Our scuba instructor Byron, wonderful man, suggested we take a trip down towards Stokkseyri; he claimed that the best restaurant he had ever been to was in this tiny little town and we needed to go. And from a man who has lived all over the world as a dive instructor and an advocate of humane food preparation, we trusted his opinion of seafood. THANK GOD we did! Holy cow, the lobster at Fjörubordid was unbelievable. Out of this world. And I had my first trip to a Black Sand Beach!  And the cave we stumbled upon off the side of the road was equally amazing. The 4th longest cave in Iceland gave us hours of adventure…and a perfect spot for photo shoots on the way to the most epic meal I’ve ever had.

We stumbled upon a flea market on Saturday, wandered into the Art Museum with had this curious display of teddy bears covered in wax. An entire room was filled with all kinds of archways and portraits with varying shapes and sizes of bears, some more worn/loved than others. On our way out, the woman stationed at this exhibit began to talk to us and we learned that Kathy was actually the artist of bears; truths…. She told us about her piece and how each bear was actually donated or rescued from local Goodwills; they represented the stories and secrets of children and in sort of a Pixar movie way, allowed their humans to grow based on the foundation they provided. I’m probably not describing this to make it seem as awesome as it was but man, I surely hope someone out there sees here package and brings it to the US. It was the trippiest, weirdest, but coolest piece I’ve seen in a long time! Amber is in school and in exchange for missing some of her classes, she has to interview entrepreneurs here in Iceland and because Kathy also owns a restaurant and 72 apartments in town, we went to her Korean-Asian-Islandic Fusion restaurant K Bar to eat while Amber did her interview. What an awesome woman! From owning a Montessori School in Berkeley to starting with one apartment for rent to becoming a multi buisness owner in Reykjavik, she has a life well lived! And she set us on one of the best adventures of the trip!

Drew, Lindsey and I set out to explore the Snæfellsnes Peninsula. Using the notes I could jot down from Kathy, and the Drive it Yourself Map from www.IheartReykjavik.com, we set out for an adventure. What a day this was. The scenery was beautiful. Thankfully I was driving because I stopped the car no less that 821 times to take a picture. It was like you saw something and thought, nothing could be more beautiful than this spot. And you kept thinking that until exactly 7 seconds later when you saw something more stunning. The worst part of that trip was when a car was behind me or I was on a bridge and couldn’t stop the car in the middle of the road for a photo! We hit a few of the must do spots, with a 6 hour round trip drive without stops, we knew we wouldn’t be able to see everything on everyone’s lists. But for me, the most magical part of the trip was finding the double waterfall. Don’t ask me where we were, don’t ask me how to get back there, but somewhere between the Crater and Kirkjufell there is this little spot between a sheep farm and a sheep farm where you can climb into the waterfall. It wasn’t on the map, or a list, or suggested at the visitor center (we needed a bathroom…stat!), or by Kathy. There were no plans to see it. We just stumbled upon it. So it was ours. We made our own way.

There is so much beauty to see here in Iceland. I truly hope to come back and explore even more of this awesome country. But until then, I’ll keep the memories of the day I decided to chase waterfalls.

And I’m off!

It’s been a lovely almost three year run with national tour of The Book of Mormon! The second to last thing we sing in the show is “this Book will change your life” and my oh my did it! I was introduced to some amazing people and had the chance to see so much in our beautiful country! And I figured, if all of this is here, I can’t imagine what’s out there! So, I’m gonna go see!

For the next six months, I’m headed to a city near (or far from) you! The concept of “plans” is such a joke in my life, but for lack of a better word, here’s my “plan”:

Sao Paulo and Rio, Brazil

Abu Dhabi and Dubai, UAE

Oslo, Norway

Copenhagen, DK

Amsterdam, The Netherlands

Brussels, Belgium

Frankfurt, Bad Durkheim, Berlin & Munich, Germany

Prague, CZ

Paris, Indiana (that was a joke)

Reykjavik, Iceland

Nairobi, Kenya

Zanzibar, Tanzania

Tokyo, Japan

Bali, Indonesia

Caye Caulker and Dangriga, Belize

all over Guadeloupe

London, England

St. Croix, VI

undecided in Morocco

So if you’re out there, I’m coming to see you! And if you’re back here, stop by to see what I see 🙂

#journeyon